Weaning happens

Most of you know about my ardent support of breastfeeding. And due to this, most know that Maddox has been breastfed on demand for over 2.5 years. I have been committed to nursing him until he was ready to wean himself. This, of course, has led many to wonder just how he would go off to college with his mother's boob in his mouth. Well, worry not! The wondrous transition has truly begun! I have had many comments in my arsenal to use in response to questions such as "when will you wean him?". Like, "I don't know, ask him" - when he obviously wasn't talking, "He is weaning" - since weaning begins with the introduction to solids, "I don't know, 30?" - when I just want to freak someone out. But the truth is that I have felt ready to move forward lately and have been gently (key there is gently) encouraging him to wean. We got him to give up the middle of the night nursings very easily about 2 months ago. Then this week, we got him to take daddy reading books before bed in replacement of nursing. I say "we" because this has very much been a family initiative... a very slow, very thoughtful, and very sensitive one. Aaron has stepped in to offer his chest, lap, and arms instead of mine. I have offered more hugs, kisses, and snuggles during the day. And Maddox, well he just stopped asking at night.
It is easy to joke right now. I am in a very positive mood about this at the moment. But in all reality, it is a very special and sad time. I remember the first time I witnessed a 2.5 year old nursing. It was at my first La Leche League meeting when M was 3 months old. I was flabbergasted!! I couldn't IMAGINE nursing a child that age. I never had the intention to... it just happened. It isn't his age that makes me ready to move on even now. It is just time. Every nursing couple has a time when it is just right to bring it to an end. I didn't set out to nurse for 2.5 years, but I wouldn't change it at all! Nothing in all of this world and all of this glorious life has seemed more right or more natural or even more rewarding than nursing my son until he was ready to be done. I know there are so many that will never "get it" and that is quite all right.
So, anyways, I was feeling very sad about this the other night and I wrote something that I will share here. I am happy that he still seems to be nursing before his nap. I don't think that will last long though since I am only at home with him during a nap about 2 days a week. So, in the next few weeks, our nursing will likely end completely, we will find another way to love and bond, and I will rest for a bit. And I am sure I will think fondly of the next chance I will have to nurse a child of mine.
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I am sitting here in tears because this is the first night that my 29 month old son went to bed without asking to nurse. We have been nursing on demand and have had a wonderful nursing relationship. We had a lot of problems in the beginning, but ended up with a really rewarding experience.
Recently, I have felt ready to move on and wean, but it is still bittersweet. It is heart breaking to not have him at the breast and snuggling with me at night. He is such an amazing and independent little boy.
As much as I think I am ready to wean him, during moments like this I feel like I am not even close. What I am starting to realize is that it is not about me at all. This is a gift I have chosen to give my son, the gift of me. It is about him and what he needs and my role is to meet those needs in as loving a way as I can.
So, these are tears of sadness, for losing my baby, but tears of joy for finding the young man he is becoming.

Planes, trains, and automobiles

This weekend we went to Chicago to visit Jennifer and Will (Aaron's sister). We had a fantastic time. Maddox got to see just about every type of travel there is and experienced several for the first time... always exciting for him. He had his first rides in a train, a trolley, and a cab. And he saw lots of boats, planes, and even a horse buggy. We took the train and trolley to the Shedd Auquarium. It was about a 2 hour commute, but Maddox seemed to enjoy it. The aquarium was a lot of fun and Maddox sat through his first 4D movie... although it was only 15 minutes long. He didn't like the glasses or the air/bubbles/shaking that made it the 4D... so I guess it was a 2D movie for him. Later he napped in the stroller while we walked rather aimlessly around downtown... well it wasn't aimless... we just missed our train. By the time we made a train after dinner it was around 9pm. The fantastic cubbie fans were also on the train. Maddox made fast friends with 2 totally trashed men behind us. They thought he was the coolest kid ever and he throught they were idiots... perfect fun for a 2 year old! At one point he signed to one "bye-bye" "you" and "sleep"... basically, he told the guy "Hey dude, you are done! You need to go to bed!". He had the entire train car cracking up a few times. It was a good ending to the fun day.

Words are flowing

We went to pick up Maddox at my mom's the other day and found that his vocabulary grew in one day to include baby, Bebbie, nigh-night, and peepee. He now will try to mimick almost anything. And his signing is still growing. The other day he signed bike, dirty, and cracker. He was telling me that the bike trailer was dirty with cracker crumbs. It was an actual sentence!!
He has added turtle, clean, trailer, and banana to his signs too!

Maddox speaks!

It has been TOO long since my last post. But this has been a BUSY wild and crazy month! First of all... we have gotten back two of our favorite words! As you might know, Maddox started talking at 12 months old and by 14 months would say "Daaaeeee" and "Doooeeee" with so much gusto! But we lost those words within about 2 months and didn't get any knew ones. This is what started our journey with the First Steps Program and his speech therapy. Well, after about 5 months and the work of a WONDERFUL therapist (Miss Mary), we have those two awesome words back. There isn't that from-the-gut gusto yet, but there is still excitement! And we have a few more words now too! He is saying hi, bye, momma, b-b (baxter), and mine. We have heard help, go, and mommy a few times. A big part of his progress is due to our use of American Sign Language. He knows at LEAST 75 signs and using at least 50 himself. He is totally in love with the Signing Time DVD collection and it has been our saving grace! It has helped so much with his frustration being able to sign his wants and needs. My heart melted when we were in the car the other day and Maddox wanted his foot wiped off. After I did it, he looked at me with a BIG smile and signed "Thank you". ALL BY HIMSELF! It was so neat! He is starting to sign "Sorry" too. It is wonderful to see him learning manners and how to show care even without "words".
On top of these wonderful developments, Maddox seems to be cutting those 2 year old molars. Yesterday, he pointed to his cheek and signed "hurt". I was so proud of him for figuring out how to share that he was in pain! And when I told him I was sorry, he signed sorry and then thank you. I can't wait to see what his little mind has to say. I know that I won't always like what comes out of that cute little mouth, but I still can't wait to hear it.