Weaning happens

Most of you know about my ardent support of breastfeeding. And due to this, most know that Maddox has been breastfed on demand for over 2.5 years. I have been committed to nursing him until he was ready to wean himself. This, of course, has led many to wonder just how he would go off to college with his mother's boob in his mouth. Well, worry not! The wondrous transition has truly begun! I have had many comments in my arsenal to use in response to questions such as "when will you wean him?". Like, "I don't know, ask him" - when he obviously wasn't talking, "He is weaning" - since weaning begins with the introduction to solids, "I don't know, 30?" - when I just want to freak someone out. But the truth is that I have felt ready to move forward lately and have been gently (key there is gently) encouraging him to wean. We got him to give up the middle of the night nursings very easily about 2 months ago. Then this week, we got him to take daddy reading books before bed in replacement of nursing. I say "we" because this has very much been a family initiative... a very slow, very thoughtful, and very sensitive one. Aaron has stepped in to offer his chest, lap, and arms instead of mine. I have offered more hugs, kisses, and snuggles during the day. And Maddox, well he just stopped asking at night.
It is easy to joke right now. I am in a very positive mood about this at the moment. But in all reality, it is a very special and sad time. I remember the first time I witnessed a 2.5 year old nursing. It was at my first La Leche League meeting when M was 3 months old. I was flabbergasted!! I couldn't IMAGINE nursing a child that age. I never had the intention to... it just happened. It isn't his age that makes me ready to move on even now. It is just time. Every nursing couple has a time when it is just right to bring it to an end. I didn't set out to nurse for 2.5 years, but I wouldn't change it at all! Nothing in all of this world and all of this glorious life has seemed more right or more natural or even more rewarding than nursing my son until he was ready to be done. I know there are so many that will never "get it" and that is quite all right.
So, anyways, I was feeling very sad about this the other night and I wrote something that I will share here. I am happy that he still seems to be nursing before his nap. I don't think that will last long though since I am only at home with him during a nap about 2 days a week. So, in the next few weeks, our nursing will likely end completely, we will find another way to love and bond, and I will rest for a bit. And I am sure I will think fondly of the next chance I will have to nurse a child of mine.
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I am sitting here in tears because this is the first night that my 29 month old son went to bed without asking to nurse. We have been nursing on demand and have had a wonderful nursing relationship. We had a lot of problems in the beginning, but ended up with a really rewarding experience.
Recently, I have felt ready to move on and wean, but it is still bittersweet. It is heart breaking to not have him at the breast and snuggling with me at night. He is such an amazing and independent little boy.
As much as I think I am ready to wean him, during moments like this I feel like I am not even close. What I am starting to realize is that it is not about me at all. This is a gift I have chosen to give my son, the gift of me. It is about him and what he needs and my role is to meet those needs in as loving a way as I can.
So, these are tears of sadness, for losing my baby, but tears of joy for finding the young man he is becoming.

Planes, trains, and automobiles

This weekend we went to Chicago to visit Jennifer and Will (Aaron's sister). We had a fantastic time. Maddox got to see just about every type of travel there is and experienced several for the first time... always exciting for him. He had his first rides in a train, a trolley, and a cab. And he saw lots of boats, planes, and even a horse buggy. We took the train and trolley to the Shedd Auquarium. It was about a 2 hour commute, but Maddox seemed to enjoy it. The aquarium was a lot of fun and Maddox sat through his first 4D movie... although it was only 15 minutes long. He didn't like the glasses or the air/bubbles/shaking that made it the 4D... so I guess it was a 2D movie for him. Later he napped in the stroller while we walked rather aimlessly around downtown... well it wasn't aimless... we just missed our train. By the time we made a train after dinner it was around 9pm. The fantastic cubbie fans were also on the train. Maddox made fast friends with 2 totally trashed men behind us. They thought he was the coolest kid ever and he throught they were idiots... perfect fun for a 2 year old! At one point he signed to one "bye-bye" "you" and "sleep"... basically, he told the guy "Hey dude, you are done! You need to go to bed!". He had the entire train car cracking up a few times. It was a good ending to the fun day.

Maddox VS. the CLAW

So, you know those silly machines at the entrances of grocery stores... where you pay to use a ridiculously small claw to try to pick up tightly packed stuffed animals? No one ever wins these things, right? Well, of course Maddox wanted to play. When it is just the two of us, I always insist that they are a waste of money because no one ever wins. Yesterday, Daddy was with us and we all know what a softy he can be. So, out came a dollar for 2 rounds of the CLAW. The first round Aaron set the claw and then he let Maddox push that magic little red button. As you can guess... they didn't win. After seeing the ridiculousness of this thing, Aaron stepped back to let Maddox have at it. With the precision of a wrecking ball, he maneuvered the claw about and again hit that magic red button. We watched as the claw dropped and slid one of the prongs against the plastic chute where the prizes go down. The words, "Aw, you were so close" were rolling off my tongue just as the claw closed and began to pull back up... WITH A TOY!! I couldn't believe it. I can't count the number of times I have stood at a machine just like this and maneuvered that little claw just right, looking at each possible angle and waiting until just the last moment to push the button... all to no avail. And here stood my giggling 2 year old with a stuffed Univ of Virginia mascot falling down the chute for his little arms to grab. The two older women in the entrance found the whole scene to be just as amazing and amusing as I did. I tell you, the kid has luck like you wouldn't believe.
So, now that he won this lovely toy that looks as though it will only last a day, he decided to hug it, kiss it, and name it Bobby. That's right, this thing is the closest we have come to him having a lovey... it has a name!! If you ask where Bobby is, he will sign car since that is where he stays (my attempt to make him last as long as possible). So, if you ever need a crane operator, just give my toddler a call!!
Maddox 1
Claw 0

Maddox's interpretation

Maddox has started the phase of taking everything very literally. This weekend we were playing in the yard and I told him to "knock daddy over". He ran up to daddy, stopped and knocked on his knee. It took a few seconds to figure out what he was doing.
The next day we went to Don Pablos for dinner. I looked at Maddox shoveling mexican rice in his mouth and said "Is that yummy in your tummy?" He immediately took a handful of rice and lifted his shirt and proceeded to try to put the rice IN his tummy.
I am sure this new phase of development will lead to many interesting, confusing, and hilarious moments as mommy puts her foot in her mouth... oops, better watch what I say!!

Maddox Gold, that's spelled E-V-E-L K-N-I-E-V-E-L

I will put this out there now... all these thoughts together at once will make it seem that Aaron and I are blind, unobservant, unfit parents... unless you know Maddox.

It started with his birth when he pushed off my ribs and flew out so fast the doctor almost dropped him... no seriously!! LOOK! --->

Ever since, he has been determined to outdo, outrun, outclimb, and outmanuever everyone and everything. He rolled over on his own at 5 weeks!

Well, as he toddled his way through this second year, there has been no shortage of moments of pure fear for Aaron and I. There was the time he climbed on the table behind the couch and stood there 3 feet in the air... at 14 months old!! The tumble down the stairs because he refused to let daddy leave him behind. Oh, the barrel roll on the Rocket Rider (though I totally blame that one on Aaron). He has fallen off the back of the couch, into table legs, off the tub, off the bed, down the stairs, off the porch... you name it, he has been there, face first.

The most recent event tops them all though. He is a true daredevil and loves the adrenaline rush... (a very slow heart attack starts now for me and doesn't end until he is about 40...) We were at a new park with our play group and there was a very tall, steep slide. Of course, he wanted to try it out. He climbed all the way up and down he went. It was so steep that, towards the bottom, he would come away from it a bit and slam somewhat at the bottom. HE LOVED IT! He did it about 5-6 times before he grew bored. Later, as we were leaving, he asked to go again. So, up he went. Once at the top, he put his hands out in his "Catch Me" stance. I quickly told him "NO you have to sit on your bottom" but it was too late. He fell face first down the slide and I had to catch him halfway. My heart was out of my chest!! But not a single tear from him! I couldn't believe it. We noticed later that he had a "war wound"- a large scrape on his elbow.

I can't let myself think of the awful crazy things he is going to get himself into in the future... it is just too terrifying. Do you think I would be frowned upon if I sent him to preschool with pillows duct taped to him?